The Price Children Pay For Divorce
My boys are back home, safe, clean, and sleeping happily in their beds. Few things are as satisfying.
I met with the ex briefly when she dropped the boys off at day care. I continue to be baffled by the "fuck you" vibe she always seems to throw my way. It's ever present since probably before I was aware she started to hate me. But it is definitely more pronounced when financial matters are involved...she is somehow bitter at me that she has to pay her share of the boys' expenses--I swear, if I didn't keep track of such things and did not bother to make sure she ponied up, she would conveniently not remember that children are quite expensive...how rudely inconvenient.
And...the exchange seemed to be a difficult one for the boys. They can probably sense her irritation on some level. Her non-verbals speak volumes (and may be confusing for the boys to understand and interpret...why is Mommy so mad when Daddy is here?). Makes me sad for them.
Maybe it really is better that we maintain separate homes...better but not ideal. I firmly believe parents owe it to their children to make the marriage work. That is not the same thing as staying together just because of the children. You have to constantly invest in your family and work through problems, not run away from them. Our boys are now at an emotional, social, and economic disadvantage that is just not fair for them. Life if hard enough.
It just seems so fucking selfish. I am over her, but I struggle with that.
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Blog Post Typo Tally: 0
I met with the ex briefly when she dropped the boys off at day care. I continue to be baffled by the "fuck you" vibe she always seems to throw my way. It's ever present since probably before I was aware she started to hate me. But it is definitely more pronounced when financial matters are involved...she is somehow bitter at me that she has to pay her share of the boys' expenses--I swear, if I didn't keep track of such things and did not bother to make sure she ponied up, she would conveniently not remember that children are quite expensive...how rudely inconvenient.
And...the exchange seemed to be a difficult one for the boys. They can probably sense her irritation on some level. Her non-verbals speak volumes (and may be confusing for the boys to understand and interpret...why is Mommy so mad when Daddy is here?). Makes me sad for them.
Maybe it really is better that we maintain separate homes...better but not ideal. I firmly believe parents owe it to their children to make the marriage work. That is not the same thing as staying together just because of the children. You have to constantly invest in your family and work through problems, not run away from them. Our boys are now at an emotional, social, and economic disadvantage that is just not fair for them. Life if hard enough.
It just seems so fucking selfish. I am over her, but I struggle with that.
--
Blog Post Typo Tally: 0
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