The Horror of Getting What You Want

I wrote again today. It wasn't as exciting. The story I'm working on needs a LOT of work. I like a lot of parts about it, but it needs a major overhaul. And I worry it's not interesting, that my description sucks, that the start is not catchy, blah, blah, blah.

The revising and editing process can be murder. Creating and just letting word diarrhea come out as it may is much more fun...and just feels good. But then molding a story into shape, which for me also entails questioning everything I wrote, sucks. And revision or change can have a ripple effect that impacts everything that follows in some way.

So, I would like a revising and editing process that also feels creative-y.

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I'm picking up my boys tomorrow. And my wife and I are starting the new custody arrangement, which boils down to me having them all week and my wife having them on the weekend. In essence, I have residential custody. Which is what I wanted. And yet, now that I got what I wanted, it's a little fucking scary and intimidating.

Three year old twin boys. By myself.

Fuck.

So, again, I am confronted with the problem of fitting in writing: maintaining this blog on a daily basis and also writing more fiction, which is the real purpose of this blog.

I have come to enjoy writing the blog. But the solution to my dilemma is spending a lot less time on the blog. I have so far been more devoted to the blog than I have been to my stories.

Maybe I need to make a precise schedule.

In any case, get ready for some really short post. I mean shorter than any I've written yet. I will be able to churn out longer ones on the weekends...most of the time (I'm predicting plenty of weekends where my wife will flake out on taking care of the boys and continue leaving them with me while she goes to do...whatever the fuck she's doing...or whoever).

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I'm going to finish this post with another experiment today: I always include a picture with my blog, I usually include a YouTube clip, and I tend to include a lot of links. But to what purpose? It is not that important. I'm not sure it's adding much in the way of content...just wasting time I could be spending on my stories.

Not that I will never include a picture and vids, but I will not always have time to do so. And I want to practice not doing it, as well as give my self permission not to.

So I'm just going to end it here...