Blogging My Way Back to Fiction

I revisited an old story I wrote. An old, old story. Originally started in 2002. It's been worked-shopped to death. I have rewritten and revised it a lot. A lot, a lot. I even submitted it to a few short story magazines. In one rejection letter, the magazine editor told me my story was "murky." I'll never forget that critique of my work.

Murky.

But in reading it again, I liked it. There is some good stuff in there! It needs reworking, but I have a million ideas for new directions I can take the story. The main character has been with me for a while and often somehow finds his way into my other stories.

More important, I started working on it again. This morning I was writing fucking fiction again. And I really enjoyed the work. It sucked to have to stop to go to my paying job, which I do not enjoy. Which I do not feel particularly passionate about. I wish I did.

But nothing does it for me like writing.

This is why I started this blog. To get me writing again. To get back to the self that somehow got lost in trying to be a good husband and father and...whatever else I was trying to be. I'm not blaming my wife. I allowed it to happen. I'm responsible.

I can't get those years back. But I can make changes and get back to what I love. And it does not have to be a separate part of my life. I can be a good father AND a writer.

I wrote fiction for only a half hour this morning, and it was amazing.

I want more.

Going to bed early tonight. Have felt tired for several days. I have to give myself permission to relax and let it go. For one night. It will all still be there tomorrow.

More important, I want to be rested, so I have time to get back to my story tomorrow morning.

The best key to writing is to write...