State of the Blog: Week Two: Monkey Mind

Two weeks and counting, and I wanted to take a moment or two (or three) to reflect on what I have been doing here, why, and where I hope this goes.

Mostly, I wanted to get back to making writing a daily practice in my life. An aspect of myself I have neglected for much too long. And, for some reason, committing to this blog is helping me to do that.

So, above all else, Writing as a Life Line is extended writing practice.

And this bring me to a problem I have had with this page so far. I tend to get carried away with things, and I have done so with this blog. I am not blogging for the sake of blogging. I am blogging for the sale of writing. And what I would really like writing fiction. Stories. I, too, want to be a paperback writer. An admittedly silly dream, but there it is.

So this is a start for that. This blog allows me to journal and get through all that Monkey Mind detritus, as Natalie Goldberg referred to it, so I can get to the "real" kind of creative writing I am am most passionate about, be it fiction, creative non-fiction, or some blend of the two. And preferably for publication...eventually. I want to work to develop my craft.

But I have been too involved in this blog. I spend waaaaay to much time with it. I've even monetized it now. I check often to see how many people have viewed my page. I check to see if I am earning money. I will continue to fiddle with linkbucks, but I'm annoyed with the redirecting of links; and so I imagine the few who read this are as well. Although I have seen the most traffic to this site yesterday by far. Not sure if that is a result of linkbucks. I don't even know if the views are from real people or those internet robot programs...whatever the fuck they are called.

Today's post is linkbuck-free. I felt it fitting for my Two-Week, State of the Blog Address. Also, I am using a smaller font. I was worried the smaller, default font might be too hard to read for some. I'd be interested in feedback in that.

But back to my point, spending too much time on the blog has the potential to become a thing in it self, which is not what I want. It can become--in ways it already has become—another avoidance tactic for developing my stories.

Writing is my lifeline, and I am very happy to get back to it. But it has always been my dream to write for a living. In a sense I do. I write a lot for my job. But I hate the kind of writing I do at work. It is so blah and unsatisfying.

It is important for me to continually remind myself this blog is a means to an end. Not the thing itself.

I don't quote feel organized enough yet or ready enough to jump back into my stories. And maybe that mindset is what contributes to me continuing to put it off. The expectation that I will be ready sometime later, sometime that is now now. I can keep making excuses like that for another 10, 15 years,

But I am writing. On a daily, consistent basis. I can do the same with my stories. Allot specific time every day to my stories. Keep moving forward. That will probably have to mean these blog posts will become much shorter, since I only have so much time to devote to writing.

But for now, this is my outlet. My writing practice. My Monkey Mind enema.

Leaving soon to pick up my boys. This is my week with them. We are all—including my wife—going to have a nice lunch together. Maybe go to the park. It is good for the boys for us to spend time together as a family. My wife and I have been getting along pretty lately. Which is good. However, the paranoid me is suspicions. Divorce is weird like that.

I'm a monkey.