Second, Third, and Fourth Guessing

So, yeah, I do it. 

I must have re-read and made a million little edits to my first blog post yesterday. 

After I published it. 

I have to wonder how many read the versions with typos in it? Or with some of the other grammatical errors I caught? And are there more errors I'm still missing? Can I word some parts better or more concisely? Do I go off on unrelated tangents that pull readers out of my main and supporting points? 

I also spent way to much time agonizing over the "Writing as a Life Line" title I chose for the whole blog. Again, after I committed and published the blog.

The simple answer is that writing has always sort of been a lifeline for me. I've relied on writing since my late teens, often to help me make sense of all the jumbled thoughts in my head. To get those thoughts out of my mind and down on a page (or on a computer screen) in order to better reflect, make sense of, understand, and release them.

The page is where I have typically turned to when I feel like crap. Like nothing makes sense. Writing has helped me to "craft" a sort of narrative coherence for the randomness of life and the miasma of thoughts that continually run through my head. 

And then there is also the creative outlet writing provides. My one art. My one, small space in life where I can do or say or think or feel or be whatever I like.

I used to be surprised that everybody doesn't rely on writing in the same way. That some people actually hate writing. I guess, in ways, I still am surprised. 

The even simpler answer is that the "Writing as a Life Line" title just popped it my head. 

I questioned it for a bit. Is there something more catchy and original I can use? Is it boring? Is it an over-used title? I was somewhat encouraged that it didn't register as the name of another blog when I created this one. 

Then, I channeled my inner Natalie Goldberg.... 

...and remembered a section from Writing Down the Bones about how she came up with the book's title. It just popped into her head as something that fit, to badly paraphrase her point. 

So I decided to go with my own head-popping epiphany. 

Later, of course, I Googled the title. And there were some similar hits, such as Lifelines: How Personal Writing Can Save Your Life [With 13 Lifeline Cards]. The synopsis made me want to puke a little in someone else's mouth (*side note: I did not follow through).

But nothing from the search mad me feel like "Writing as a Life Line" was an overly used or even a common phrase, much less a blog title. It fit for me and my purposes. (*Also note the intentional and clearly inspired separation of the the words life and line from lifeline.) 

And so I went with it. 

And so I am also reminded of the power of Google to define my perceptions of the world. 

See. Unrelated tangents can be OK—and even kind of fun—at times. 

And, yes, I used the word miasma. Look it up, for fuck's sake.