I Hope...and I Write

Once again, I will have to keep this short. And get to the promised post about my seemingly random cuss usage next time. 

I take my boys back to their mother tomorrow, so I will not see them for a week......

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.....I want to spend as much time with them tonight as possible. I will miss them more than I can convey. I already miss them thinking about how I will miss them, if that makes sense. 

I hate this. I hate everything about the dissolution of what was—not so long ago—a beautiful family. My boys are dealing with the whole thing like champs. But sometimes when they are upset or sick or just irritable, they will cry for their mommy.

It breaks my heart.

I will never understand how she was able to choose this for our family. For our boys.

Never.

And I resent her for it. I curse her quietly to myself often...especially when things get difficult. 

Enough of the fucking sob story. Nobody wants to read about that shit. 

I hope writing about it will allow me not to think about it as much and focus more of my energies on enjoying the rest of the night with my boys. 

As Red said, I hope.