Initiation: First Post

How many assholes have started a new blog with something like "this is my first post!" Great. Good for you.

Consider me among that group of assholes.

I have blogged plenty in the past. But I have never really committed to it as I would have liked, just as I have never committed to my writing as I would have liked.

Now I find 10, 15 years have passed, and I am no longer the young, upstart writer I imagined myself to be. Middle age is fast approaching, and I haven't written shit. Sure, I have some works I completed and sent off to publishers for possible publication. I even have one piece that was published in an academic journal (which no one will ever read...except for MAYBE a handful of academics).

But somewhere, life got in the way of this passion (my only real passion, other than my boys) for way, WAY too long.

There is no one to blame. I am responsible for my life choices.

As much as I would like to blame my newly separated, life-drain of a wife—a story for another day, perhaps—I know that's not fair...and an easy cop-out. Did I mean the life-drain part isn't fair or the blame part? Or both? Here's what I can confidently say about separation and divorce for now: it is a train wreck of an experience emotionally, financially, and a million other -ally's I don't have time to sort out, much less list. Let's just stick with it's confusing as crap for now.

In any case, I am making some new choices, and this is the start.

I have no particular theme for this blog. Not yet, anyway. I plan to write whatever comes from...wherever thoughts and ideas come from. I was going to say "my mind," but what the fuck does that overused, generic word even mean? Mind has a plethora of meanings. Yes, I said plethora.

Thank you Three Amigos.

Let me simplify. I will write. Hopefully everyday.

As a single father of twin boys, I will have to squeeze in writing between taking care of crazy three-year-olds, a full-time job, and dealing with my ersatz wife. Needless to say, I will not always be able to write as much as I would like. But I WILL get at least something down every day, even if it's only a couple paragraphs or even sentences. And always something honest.

That is my overall goal. Honesty. Harder than it sounds.

As of today, I have no followers. That may or may not change. But I write mostly for myself. Sure, I take audience into account. But I have to be happy with what I do first. And if someone else happens to like what I write, great!

So this is the end of my first post for this new blog. One voice among 7 billion.

I am the 1.4285714e-10%.