Developing a New Life Line Plan: The Recommittment Project

It has been too long. Or at least it feels that way.

I haven't had a chance to sit down and write in a while. This fist semester as a single parent has really kicked the shit out of me. (Well, not literally. My shit is still regular, which is good.) It has been a struggle to keep up. At times I feel disproportionately "I rue the day I met you" bitter at my wife.

I have to stop thinking of her as my wife and as someone who will help me with my children.

When I don't write, when I don't call upon my lifeline, things seem to fall apart for me. It really is my lifeline. I chose a good title for this blog, almost unwittingly.

But I have been so very fucking tired. Exhausted really. But not writing compounds the exhaustion. So I need to create that time. For my hopes of one day publishing something (other than the one crappy academic journal article) and for myself.

I write mostly because I love it. I need it even. That above all. I am a writer in that sense. Regardless of if I ever published or not, I will always write. It may very well happen here on this blog, if know where else.

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I have started deleting all the pictures and embedded videos from my prior blogs and republishing them. I reverted them all to saved drafts after I had what I am dubbing The Big Freak Out. It will be a process to get to them all, but I will eventually repost them all. Can't believe The Big Freak Out was almost a month ago. I really have been crazy-busy...and out of touch with my writing. 

Only a little more than two weeks until NaNoWriMO, and I need to get back into "writing shape." 

I actually wrote what I believe will be the start of my novel...or whatever it will be. As I mentioned in my last post three days ago (way too long between posts), my writing has been leading me in a creative non-fiction direction, seemingly of it's own accord. I will let it take the reigns and take me where it will. There seems to be somethings I have to get out...and sort out. 

Not too surprising, giving my current state of flux. Life transitions seems to be the general theme so far. A research area of expertise of mine, actually...and a long time area interest.

I will keep playing with it, but I'm pretty sure that is what I will write about in November. I knocked out 971 words pretty quickly today. About 700 words short of what I will need to produce daily to meet the 50,000 word goal in one month. 

It will be hard. It's important to acknowledge that. And I will need a plan that will allow me to make it happen. 

Skimping out on sleep is not an option. I did that several times to keep up with my work these past several weeks. That was just a bad experience. It made me sick and super grumpy. Not healthy for me or my boys. 

I'll be working on that plan.