My Cat Won't STFU. Seriously, Cat, STFU!

How's that for a catchy blog post title. But it's also true. I can not get my cat to STFU.

And as great as it is to be able to socially acceptably swear via text-speak acronyms, my cat's incessant meowing RATFOOM (Really Annoys The...you can figure out the rest).

So what to do, other than write a blog post about it? Why is my cat meowing, kinda sounds like cat crying actually, and how to I get him to stop.

Research to the rescue. And I will pass my savings...my finding on to you, dear reader of blogs.

But first, symptoms and context.

My cat was not always to annoying little shit he is today. I didn't always used to fantasize about physically abusing him or have day dreams of leaving him at the nearest shelter (preferably no kill, but I'm good either way). I'm also too chicken shit to get rid of him. My sons might miss him. I'm also a bit a sentimental retard. Whoops, not supposed to say retard anymore. I've had the cat a while. My ex entrusted him to me. We got him together from a shelter when we were dating...before we married, before the kids, and before the divorce. And the annoying cat was pretty much our babies before we had babies. Nevermind that his role now is that of a money leaching eat, crap, and puke machine and there is zero ROI. I'm banking on his death in a few years or so. And I will not give in to my boys demands for a puppy. Already they are pining for a damn puppy. No effing way is that going to happen. Please god, give me the strength to resist their frowny faces, puts, and temper tantrums. I'm so weak. I'm totally going to have a puppy some day, aren't I. But I am ABSOLUTELY waiting until they are old enough to take care of the dogs themselves. Then they can also take it with them to college...or wherever they go. Hopefully college and then medical school. And in this fantasy, they go through college and med school together as best friends and continually recite to others how they owe it all to their loving, supportive, yet firm father, who taught them responsibility and discipline by getting them a puppy when they were younger.

For now, though, the cat.


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