Separation and Divorce: Year One: A Brief Look Back
My boys and I moved out of the home we shared with my then wife one year ago today. It was a pretty scary and stressful time.
We actually had not vacated our new house on the 1st. The moving truck was loaded, except for a few things I planned to load first thing the next morning.
I wanted my boys to feel happy and safe during that last night in our "old" home, and I wanted them to wake up to their familiar things in the morning.
They have grown and changed so much since then. A year is a long time for four-year-olds. They were three when we moved, not too far removed from two...still babies in a lot of ways. They are now undeniably little boys.
So much of my fear and stressed revolved around them (and still does, really). I am grateful my Mom and step father were in town to help take care of them while I packed up the house. God knows my ex didn't help with shit...the boys, the house, all our stuff (including a lot of her stuff), cleaning the house, everything...she left for me to do.
She moved out the prior month and was able to leisurely move her things into her new place while I watched our boys.
I still resent it, I guess.
I think...and I have said this before so who knows...my ex and I get along better now. Although she is more of a financial wreck than ever it seems, while my financial situation has greatly improved in only a year. It really drives home how much I allowed her to screw up my finances. I am responsible too, of course. But it sucked that she sucks with money. It still makes things pretty difficult, in regards to her paying her share of our boys' expenses. I sincerely hope she becomes more financially stable. For the boys' sake...and for mine. She is a volatile person, and the financial instability leaves her open to "acting out" more readily. Yes, admittedly (and horribly), there is a certain satisfactory "see what happens" aspect to my relatively more financially stable position. But I would much rather her be more secure. It is not fair to the boys especially. And my financial well-being is still connected to hers, including childcare expenses and a car loan that is still in both our names (hopefully for not much longer).
But anyway, on June first last year, after breakfast with my boys, a little cartoon watching, and morning playtime, I packed up my remaining stuff and left that house for the last time.
I had an extremely limited amount of time to drive to my then new place, unload it all, and set up as much as possible. Again, I wanted my boys to feel safe. I wanted them to be surrounded by their familiar things in an unfamiliar environment.
I remember one of my boys was very visibly afraid when I first carried him into our new home that evening. He wash shaking a little...until he saw our couch and his toys waiting for him. The couch in particular seemed to be very significant for them.
The couch is getting old and some of the seams are starting to tear. But it's a great couch, and it says "home" to my boys. I can sew the seams.
The couch has been good to us. So has this "new" house.
Thanks house.
__ __
Blog Post Typo Tally: 14
We actually had not vacated our new house on the 1st. The moving truck was loaded, except for a few things I planned to load first thing the next morning.
I wanted my boys to feel happy and safe during that last night in our "old" home, and I wanted them to wake up to their familiar things in the morning.
They have grown and changed so much since then. A year is a long time for four-year-olds. They were three when we moved, not too far removed from two...still babies in a lot of ways. They are now undeniably little boys.
So much of my fear and stressed revolved around them (and still does, really). I am grateful my Mom and step father were in town to help take care of them while I packed up the house. God knows my ex didn't help with shit...the boys, the house, all our stuff (including a lot of her stuff), cleaning the house, everything...she left for me to do.
She moved out the prior month and was able to leisurely move her things into her new place while I watched our boys.
I still resent it, I guess.
I think...and I have said this before so who knows...my ex and I get along better now. Although she is more of a financial wreck than ever it seems, while my financial situation has greatly improved in only a year. It really drives home how much I allowed her to screw up my finances. I am responsible too, of course. But it sucked that she sucks with money. It still makes things pretty difficult, in regards to her paying her share of our boys' expenses. I sincerely hope she becomes more financially stable. For the boys' sake...and for mine. She is a volatile person, and the financial instability leaves her open to "acting out" more readily. Yes, admittedly (and horribly), there is a certain satisfactory "see what happens" aspect to my relatively more financially stable position. But I would much rather her be more secure. It is not fair to the boys especially. And my financial well-being is still connected to hers, including childcare expenses and a car loan that is still in both our names (hopefully for not much longer).
But anyway, on June first last year, after breakfast with my boys, a little cartoon watching, and morning playtime, I packed up my remaining stuff and left that house for the last time.
I had an extremely limited amount of time to drive to my then new place, unload it all, and set up as much as possible. Again, I wanted my boys to feel safe. I wanted them to be surrounded by their familiar things in an unfamiliar environment.
I remember one of my boys was very visibly afraid when I first carried him into our new home that evening. He wash shaking a little...until he saw our couch and his toys waiting for him. The couch in particular seemed to be very significant for them.
The couch is getting old and some of the seams are starting to tear. But it's a great couch, and it says "home" to my boys. I can sew the seams.
The couch has been good to us. So has this "new" house.
Thanks house.
__ __
Blog Post Typo Tally: 14
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