It's Alive: The Life Line Continues...For Now (and a side not about keeping regular)

Still here.

I've been contemplating shutting down the Life Line at the one year anniversary (came and went on the 14th of July).

Really, I'm, not sure why I keep up with it. This blog is a hackneyed compilation of barfed out thoughts on...whatever. No real revision or forethought...pretty much par for the Life Line from day one.

Sometimes, I think, I just need an escape from life. Something else to do and think about that also allows me to write. Because I love writing, and I still don't get to do it nearly as much as I would like. I get some sense of reward and accomplishment from posting these mundane, meandering snippets of my misspent life. More, in ways, than writing in a journal. The public-ness adds a little something extra. Of course with the public-ness comes more self-restraint and censoring than I might do in a private journal. But I don't feel as fulfilled with journals as I used to. And I have journaled for a loooong time. Someday, I plan to do something with all those pages and pages of journal. No idea what but...something.

Maybe I should be a memoir or creative non-fiction writer...or something like that.

Crazy shit going on (not to be confused with the side note below). I have accepted the new position, so this months brings the end of an old job and the start of a new. Been spending a helluva lot of time finding housing and day care arrangements (my ex, of course, has not help with the latter at all...which I shouldn't find odd at this point but, yet, I still do for who the hell knows why). Plus planning the move, packing up my house, closing things out at work, and million other little things here and there that adds up to tons of crazy shit I'm juggling to keep up with. I'm OK. I'm OK. No really. I'm OK. Fuck.

But really. I'm OK. And this transition, as stressful and anxiety-laden as it is, is not as stressful as the divorce-move last year. It's a new start in a new town. Looking forward to it, really. But right now, I am just in holy-mother-of-god overwhelmed mode. Hence my escape in the Life Line...for a little but. This is one of the reasons I started the Life Line, among others, because last year, I was newly separated from my then-wife and on the brink of divorce. And rumor has it divorce can be pretty stressful. And by pretty stressful I basically mean THE most stressful thing people experience. Top two: death and divorce. Seriously. I'll find a source. Franklin (and Defoe?...didn't know that) should have amended their death and taxes spiel to death and divorce.

And here's that source I mentioned...sometimes it's better not to know. And yet, it makes me feel better.

I also found this gem of a quote that resonated with me (comma splice and all): "I don't miss [her], I miss who I though [she] was." -- Anonymous

Add to all that...I got called just yesterday for another job interview. And I either foolishly or inspirationally accepted. Bad timing, man. Bad. Timing.

I'm OK.

*Side note: I've shat like three times today already (*side-side note: I totally did not expect shat to be in Merriam's). And not little pebbles here and there but giant bowel clearing pythons. Where is all that crap stored? I wonder if I weigh less. If I would have known this would happen today, I would have weighed myself first thing this morning and compared to my current post-shat weight.

This is actually not an uncommon occurrence either. But today's...output has been truly exceptional. The timing is pretty good. It would seriously interfere with my work productivity and ability to watch my boys if this happened during the week. But I have to wonder why? I am also pretty regular during the week (and as the Scatman has most wisely noted, "you got to keep regular if you want to keep happy!"), so why doesn't my body gradually unload during the week instead of storing it up for the big weekend finale? *Shrug*

End side note*

And if you haven't noticed, I gave the Life Line a tiny face life. The black theme was depressing me.