Toddler Existential Crisis: Agnostic Parenting and the Lack of Community Support
My boys are experiencing an increased awareness and even a sort of...fascination (for lack of a better term) with the concept of death. That they know and understand death is surprising to me, but it shouldn't be. Even though I was raised on violent, militaristic cartoons, like GI Joe and Transformers (I still love those old school versions, FYI), I have steered clear of that kind of programming for my boys. And yet, death is prevalent in these "less violent" cartoons as well. Hello, Disney. I'm not upset or angry about it. Death is a natural part of life, and Disney stories, despite their "evil corporate agenda" are consistently fantastic...sans Frozen--I thought that story kinda sucked, especially compared to other Disney movies, but my boys and apparently the whole world love it. (That being said, popularity is a poor gauge for quality, as Fox News has thoroughly demonstrated.)
Politics aside, my boys are interested in death and, as to be expected, afraid of it. Hence, their existential crisis. Perhaps their first? (I have to brush up on my Yalom.) We are not a religious family, although I had them baptized in faith of my ethnic heritage. We also attend church on occasion. They are aware of the concept of heaven and harp playing bliss promised in the afterlife, pending the stamp of approval for professing your undying devotion to the oddly insecure and paranoid polytheistic creators.
I am agnostic, and while I can't say for sure if there are any higher, godlike beings, if there are, they are not like anything professed in in the currently popular guides to the afterlife. I don't know what happens after death, and I really would be thrilled to learn we have everlasting souls; and we get to spend eternity strumming harps with our loved ones, if we don't get on the naughty list.
But as I said, I am a nonbeliever, and my boys are curious about life after death. What is an agnostic to tell them? How do I help them through existential crises? How do I instill spirituality without the support of society for my views?
One of their biggest fears about death is separation anxiety. Heaven or whatever would be fine...if daddy is there with them too. Extremely sweat. Bless their precious hearts and souls (everlasting or otherwise).
I am not currently satisfied with the lack of answers I currently have for them. I want them to develop their own religious identities, but they also need some kind of foundation to build that identity from.
Research is key hear. Time to hit the books...and the Google.